Self-reflexive blogging
Sometimes I write blog posts that I feel are overly sentimentalist or dramatic - either because they are or because people read them as such- and hence I do not post them. They sit as drafts in the bowels of blogger.com, patiently hoping for revision. So, in lieu of posting something new, I shall now post one such draft, ostensibly with the aim of revealing something interesting about me. If this does not sound exciting enough then I offer you the following gibberish: "Uncut, unedited, never before seen blogage!". In any case, it was written March 2nd under the title "Lord of War".
" On tuesday I saw "Lord of War" at the UBC theater. At first the narrative style bugged me. Especially the opening scene. But by the time I walked out of the theater I had little doubt that it was a good movie. That counts as a recommendation by me for you to go see it. The best description I can give to it is: action movie turned political commentary. Perhaps the most interesting thing for me about that movie had nothing to do with the movie itself, but with the way I react to the movie.
3 years ago that movie is exactly the type of thing that would make me angry with the world. "How can we stand the state the world is in?" "Is there no justice at all?" Those are the types of questions my younger self would have asked. The answers at the time were, of course, "we can't" and "there isn't" respectively. But those arn't the things I think about anymore. When I saw the movie, what did it make me think about? Well, it made me think about 3 years ago. It also made me think of 2 years ago, and the change I had undergone. I doubt that is the effect the movie was going for. Those who knew me 2 years ago will be quick to recall that that was not the happiest time of my life. In fact, it would be fair to characterize that period as the worst time of my life. What I sometimes forget, however, is that my depression had far more to do with the content of this movie than it ever did with the personal events in my life at the time. That is what "Lord of War" reminds me of. I used to care with all my heart about the injustice of the world, and it nearly killed me. Now, I just accept it. I'm inherently worthless. Humans are not only greedy, short-sighted, and violent, but will always be so. Once those are the standards you hold the world to, the world becomes a beautiful, wonderful place."
" On tuesday I saw "Lord of War" at the UBC theater. At first the narrative style bugged me. Especially the opening scene. But by the time I walked out of the theater I had little doubt that it was a good movie. That counts as a recommendation by me for you to go see it. The best description I can give to it is: action movie turned political commentary. Perhaps the most interesting thing for me about that movie had nothing to do with the movie itself, but with the way I react to the movie.
3 years ago that movie is exactly the type of thing that would make me angry with the world. "How can we stand the state the world is in?" "Is there no justice at all?" Those are the types of questions my younger self would have asked. The answers at the time were, of course, "we can't" and "there isn't" respectively. But those arn't the things I think about anymore. When I saw the movie, what did it make me think about? Well, it made me think about 3 years ago. It also made me think of 2 years ago, and the change I had undergone. I doubt that is the effect the movie was going for. Those who knew me 2 years ago will be quick to recall that that was not the happiest time of my life. In fact, it would be fair to characterize that period as the worst time of my life. What I sometimes forget, however, is that my depression had far more to do with the content of this movie than it ever did with the personal events in my life at the time. That is what "Lord of War" reminds me of. I used to care with all my heart about the injustice of the world, and it nearly killed me. Now, I just accept it. I'm inherently worthless. Humans are not only greedy, short-sighted, and violent, but will always be so. Once those are the standards you hold the world to, the world becomes a beautiful, wonderful place."
posted by Jordan at 9:37 AM
1 Comments:
Long overdue... sad but true.
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